Some days I want to just write something profound. I'm definitely not a gifted writer. I've read so many beautifully written blogs. I just don't have that talent.
All I can really say is that I miss my son. Not a day goes by that I don't wonder about him. My heart hurts just as much today as it did four years ago. Not a moment goes by that I don't consider writing the doctor a letter explaining how angry I am. Not a minute goes by that I don't realize how truly precious life is. Some days I just want to give up. I'm tired. I get up daily, try to make the best of every day, embrace what life brings me, count my blessings, and still miss my son.
Over the years, the grief has changed. It's become a part of me. There's really not much I can say to explain the feelings I feel. No one can understand unless they've experienced something similar. I hope that along the way my words and story have touched at least one person. I think about my friends who have also lost children. My heart bleeds for them daily, too. Not a moment goes by that I don't stop thinking about them as well. They are who give me strength, honestly.
So, tonight, I really have nothing profound to say. I just wanted to share my heart and tell Collin how much is mommy misses him and loves him.
Always and forever!