Collin Xavier Coloura

Saturday, May 14, 2011

A quote from a post I read

I read this post today.  I'm sad to say that I know this woman's pain. 

I think for me the main differences are that stillborn babies had personality, they had a routine, you got to know what made them move, you felt them everyday. You expect them more, because the pram is bought, because the cot is set up already in the bedroom, because you spent hours washing and ironing the clothes and making up the hospital bag, because you were expecting them any day now!! Because you went on to labour and delivery and even then were expecting to meet ____ anyminute... then you were taken to a seperate room, you didn't have the fetal monitor, but you had the USS, and then you had the hours of induction, the waiting without expectation, the pushing, without the surprise, the holding without the tears of joy. The baby fully formed, with eyes like mommy, and a mouth like daddy, with little fingers and toes, not grasping, a chest not rising and falling, and a body slowly cooling, and turning blue. You didn't put baby in the carseat, you didn't recieve the information about breast feeding, all you got was a box with 4 photos, and some hand/foot prints... you didn't leave by the front door with blue/pink balloons in tow, you followed the nurse silently down to the morgue, wincing with every step because of the stitches, because of the gut wrenching separation, you left by the side door, and slipped back home, to an empty house, to see all the baby presents, to see the dreams shattered on the floor. To begin the task of phoning people, expecting to hear name weight and time of arrival... but those details come later, after the news is shared. You sit numb in your house, whilst flowers and cards arrive, everyone demanding decisions about the funeral you never thought you'd plan. The shock takes you, life stands still. Everyone has pity on their faces, everyone hugs and condoles, but in a few weeks they've all forgotten, and you are left with the emptiness...
No stillbirth isn't really comparable to miscarriage. "

Saturday, May 14, 2011

This is a test. I lost all of my other content.  Just testig.