Collin Xavier Coloura

Saturday, March 3, 2018

It's not just a lizard!

It's amazing to me just how many people I've met along the way who've lost a child, sibling, niece, nephew, grandchild, etc.  Four years ago I wouldn't have given it another thought.  I mean, children don't die????!!! Wow, was I naïve. Sadly, I know all too well that isn't our reality.

Just the other day the lady taking my blood for a simple blood test asked me about my tattoo.  Of course my heart races because it's an opportunity for me to share a little about Collin.  After I told her about the meaning behind my tattoo, she told me about the brother she lost when she was two.  Asking her to tell me about him didn't seem taboo to me.  It seemed like a logical request.  He's part of her life, so I wanted her to share him with me.  She was too young to remember him, but she knows all about him.  Her family's loss was over 20 years ago, yet her family  continues to celebrate his birthday every year.  She said that every time she sees a lizard, it makes her think of him. To her family, a lizard just isn't a lizard. A lizard is a little tiny piece of their heart.  It's something tangible that they can remember and reminisce about a little life cut way too short.

Fast forward many years from then.  Along this painful journey, I've met a lot of "lizard" families, as well as "pig" families, "sunflower" families, "puppy" families, "turtle" families, "lady bug" families, and many other "dragonfly" families. Each time I meet family enduring the loss of a child, I am reminded that Earth is not our home, yet little pieces of our loved ones are forever etched in our hearts and minds to help us remember everything about them.  I love hearing each and every story about how each little "symbol" reminds a loved one grieving here on earth about a child they've lost.

To them, a lizard isn't just a lizard. A lizard is a little piece of that little boy or girl that left them way too soon.

I love how so many of my friends reach out and continue to reach out when they see a dragonfly.   Somehow along the way, they are also reminded of Collin, the sweet baby that left us almost 7 years ago. I do have to say that knowing that dragonflies remind so many of you of Collin makes my heart smile.  Thank you for loving him almost as much as we do.

Next time you see a lizard, a dragonfly, a red bird, a turtle, a sunflower....take a moment to realize how exquisite God is in all His creations.

I recently read an article about how our loved ones visit us.  I truly believe that Collin is with God and has so much more important things to do with his time than come visit me, but I found this and thought it was truly interesting: If it gives you some hope, then I'm truly overjoyed I could give you just a little hope.

   Showing Up As an Insect or Animal.

Your loved one in Heaven is now pure energy… They are able to channel their energy into an insect or animal, for a brief period of time to bring you a sign that their spirit lives on.
They may appear to you in this way as a butterfly, dove, rabbit, dragonfly, or any other number of insects or animals… When this happens, the animal or insect will usually do something that is out of character that catches your attention. They may land on your hand, come into your home, or appear closely, right in front of you as if they are communicating.
This is a common type of communication from spirit. If something like this happens to you, trust that your loved one is with you, and letting you know that they are okay, and that you are not alone.

I honestly believe that in times of our grief, God grants us a little reprieve by sending us something to remind us that He is eternity, He is eternal, He is hope. He is always with us, even when we doubt and we are at our weakest. So, when you see a lizard, it might not be "just a lizard" to someone else.  It might be their tiniest flame of Hope; a Hope that tells us that we are never alone in our grief and our babies are in a much more glorious place than we can ever imagine. 
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." ~ Isaiah 41:10